Reflections on Teaching Dance, It's Personal

I wrote this blog post a few days ago and have hesitated to post it because it is personal to me and very close to my heart. This personal story shares my humanness. It goes beyond my perceived image of always dance, always move, always workout. It reveals the woman in me that grows and changes with all of life's tribulations, a lot like many of you.  

While doing the avoidance dance and thinking about it over this past week, I decided to go ahead and share it with you. I realized, I got involved in this business of teaching dance and fitness for two reasons. One is the passion for dance (which eventually also became a passion for fitness). The other, was because I wanted to be a teacher. Dance simply became my medium, the topic of study I would share. Basically, I simply can't “not do it”. For me, these two are a combined passion that runs deep. I must share to be my healthiest and happiest self.

By sharing a bit more of my personal story, I hope to be a better teacher to you. I hope, perhaps to be a source of inspiration and motivation. That said, here goes:

It's Personal.

There was a time in my life that I did not – COULD NOT – dance for an entire year. For the first few months at least, I couldn't even listen to happy music! It began on my 23rd birthday when my father passed away. At the time, I was heavy in my dance studies. I had a scholarship at Broadway Dance Center, was taking classes everyday and working part time in a dance wear shop. It was fully immersed in the industry, learning and LOVING IT! That day, it all stopped, like a I hit a brick wall.

Dance is such an amazing gift and it brings so much joy to my life. It always has and still does. I liken it to the quote "To watch me dance, is to hear my heart sing!" When my Dad died, I was unable to allow myself to feel that feeling of happiness. I was unable to move freely and live in the dance. 

I've often heard stories of people who took their pain and made great successes out of it. People who used their pain and sadness to drive themselves further, who dedicated the hard work and got through it in the name of that someone special, and I wondered why I didn't do the same. I guess we are all different. I didn't realize it at the time, but in retrospect, I can see it clearly: I was simply heartbroken and this was just my way of coping.

Fortunately, it was just a hick-up in what has become my fantastic 25 year career as a Dance and Fitness Instructor. That experience, was a big part of my journey and part of the development of my compassion and understanding for women having hard times. We all ebb in and out of what we want for ourselves coupled with the pressure of societies expectations and then compounded with real life! Ugh! 

The good news!

I survived a tough time,  you can survive, and we can be a great source of support for one another. We can come out on the other side feeling better, renewed, stronger, happier. It is possible!

I've come to understand that as great as it sounds, sometimes “just do it” just doesn't work. 

What will work? 

I believe sometimes it takes a gentle coaxing, someone to recognize where you are and share a shoulder, a happy thought, and then be that source of strength you need (the one you can't seem to muster up for yourself) to take the next step. 

I hope to be that support for you. Life can be challenging but we as women have more power within us than we are often aware of. If you are down and not sure where to turn, try taking just one small step, try one tiny move, listen to one note of music. Then allow your self to accept that step is enough for today. Congratulate yourself on the accomplishment. Each day, add just a little bit more. It may seem insignificant, but it's the starting point that often takes us to the end result.

Please feel free to share your story with me. If you find it too personal in nature to post a comment, send me an email. I'd like to help you through the process. 

Dance awaits you on the other side, and it is GLORIOUS!

Dance, Move, Live!

Patty Rose

Meaningful Movement

www.PattyRose.com  
Creator of DanceStrong! (tm) Workout DVD  
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Committed to helping people find the inspiration to reach their goals, solutions to wellness, and motivation to move & dance!

Comments

[Patty Rose]

Deb:

Thank you for your compliments.

I can't believe the level of loss you've endured. My heart goes out to you and I so appreciate you sharing this with me.

It seems to me that you have made a great success of your life regardless of the hard times and pain. Needles to say there is no replacement for family, but, you are not alone. I'm glad to have you as part of my community.

My biggest wishes to all your happiness!
Patty

[Patty Rose]

Helen:

Thank you for your kind words and sharing. I too, had a tear from reading your story. I'm so sorry for your difficult loss. I'm glad to see that you have come out to the other side feeling stronger and able to understand lessons learned, as hard as they may have been.

Thank you again for sharing! I truly believe this support helps us to grow and learn from one another.

Here's to your beauty and strength!
Patty

[James]

So unselfish of you and courageous to share your story. Someone in other part of the world needs such encouragement and support moving on from a tragic past. I will share this to friends I know who are in the same situation.
For other personal development concerns you might want to talk to friends from Mentor club

[Gitie House]

Hi Patty,

Thanks for sharing some of your most personal and difficult times. Your post is so inspiring and so true about the different ways we cope with grief and challenges, the friends who nudge us to believe in ourselves, and the amazing way in which life unfolds.

You must be a wonderful teacher and dancer inspiring many to live their dreams.

Warm regards
Gitie

[Deb Augur]

Hi Patty,

It's wonderful of you to share your story and offer your wisdom on stepping out into the light again. Beautifully said.

Loss of family is the hardest. I lost my mom and then my dad many years ago. Both of my brothers are gone as well (excruciating circumstances). I'm the only one left. I always wondered, too, how people have been able to come out of that kind of thing and make something that goes beyond what they ever did before... but it just might be, in reality, it took them months or years. Kind of like the "overnight success" that really took years.

I'm so glad that you decided to let yourself be happy in music and dance again. And the way you have put yourself out there, willing to do what you can to help others, is beautiful. I can see the teacher in you. I wish you every success and joy!

[Helen Raptoplous]

Patty this was a very moving post! I had goose bumps and shed a few tears. You write beautifully!! Good for you for sharing your story it can be very difficult, but only good things will come from it.

I lost my mom at 22 and I felt the same way you did in that I wished I could use the tragic experience to be better, to be stronger, to make more of myself and instead I went into complete destruction mode and lost myself is a dark depression.
It was the most difficult thing I have ever lived through and I cried every single day for 5 years, I thought the pain would never go away!

Now, as I look back, I did learn from it, I did grow and when all is said and done I am a better person and a stronger person. We can never see in the moment what we need to learn or what the lessons are but as we move through time things have a way of coming clear and we move forward.

Thank you so much for taking a chance and a risk at sharing a personal story. It bonds those who read it to you in a way that is deep and dear! You are beautiful and living and loving your life and doing what you are passionate about... That is such amazing inspiration!! thank you!